Tomorrow night my book club will meet to discuss Eat Pray Love. I’m looking forward to hearing the views on it (and further details for those who have already shared thoughts.) I liked the book, but I’ll admit I wasn’t in love with it.
I felt too much of the chapter devoting to ‘eating’ was spent on the author moping. I also became burdened with the detail to which things and processes were explained. I appreciated recognizing that readers would most likely be unfamiliar with certain practices or things, but at times I found it tedious.
There were parts I liked though.
I liked how it led me to self-reflection.
It made met think about Balance.
You see…for many years of my life, things were completely out of whack for me.
I moved to Little Rock right after college–that August, my mom passed.
What followed were the hardest months of my life thus far.
I was Alone.
I knew people, but didn’t have a solid group of friends, nor did I know where to find them. I was trying to land a job. I was living alone for the first time in my life. Looking back it was probably way more than I should have dealt with, considering the loss I had suffered.
The new year, brought new things. I had a job, which brought along a group of people who would soon be my social group. I had work. I knew people….But my life was Very much askew.
Just about every aspect of my world was about my job.
I had something to do everyday, a steady paycheck, and a group of friends, but new hurdles.
My hours were unusual, making it difficult to enjoy a night out on a weekday or happy hour. Sleep became a battle for me (still is to some degree). I had great friends, but many I knew from work, making it virtually impossible to shake the stresses of the day off, and believe me there were many, many stresses.
I should stop now and tell you this: I wasn’t miserable nor insufferable. For the most part I was ok with the cards I was dealt and kept playing along. I knew my life wasn’t balanced, but I wasn’t sure how to get it on track.
But….somehow I did.
I know it was a combination of many things: Better (ok actually ideal) hours, less stress, meeting new people, filling my social calendar, gaining a hobby, eating better, sleeping more.
I struggle with this balance often.
After reading a few chapters of Eat Pray Love I would find myself reflecting on my life….how I lived it before, how I live it now and what I would like to change.
I’m not sure perfect balance is even obtainable.
I know that I’ll have days when the only thing even remotely vegetable is fries, I’ll have days I need to cake on concealer because I pushed way too late into the night. Ill take on too much, or expect too great of results from myself. I know that.
But I also know….right now…I am happy.
My life is full, with wonderful people and great experiences.
I am pushing myself to be active, to do more, to experience things, and it’s making me a better person in the process.
My Grandfather would tell my Dad ‘Be smart enough to know when you are Truly Happy”
It’s a wobbly tight-rope of emotions and schedules and lists and stresses, and it’s sure not an easy path to walk, but right now–in this moment–I’m solid.