I’ve had quite a week. I lived hard (my own choice) I’m working earlier hours (which shouldn’t throw me off since for years I worked early hours, but my body is refusing to adjust) and my MeMe went to the hospital again. I’ve also got a myriad of other things on the constant treadmill that is my frame of mind….so I’ve been pretty tense.
When people around me hurt, or are stressed, I jump to feed them. It is instinct I now believe I inherited. The last week we had my mother, I clearly remember MeMe peeling a peach, and thinking “Why on Earth is she doing that?!?” I’ve come to realize, her gut told her so, and she didn’t know anything else. Now I….am that way.
Conversely though when I stress I often forget about eating. It is an afterthought. When I realize I am absolutely ravenous I drive-thru somewhere or order something covered in fat and cheese. I don’t do the best job at taking care of myself when I get tense.
What I have discovered though…is I will take care of others. I will feed, I will fuss and prepare. Then I will join, and gain the calm cooking gives me, the benefit of time with friends, and a much needed good meal.
I was asked to cook earlier this week for a dinner party (The one in a previous blog post that was delayed.) With everything that has piled up, I (graciously I hope) turned down the offer, instead telling friends I was cooking for them (they didn’t ask. I decided)
The dinner party would be strangers. I’d likely have felt pressure to preform, and gotten a bit too rattled if things didn’t go perfectly.
With friends, I don’t care if it takes longer than expected, or isn’t plated perfectly. They’ll say things like “take over my kitchen” or “Yes I will have your food. cooking destresses you and I will encourage you cooking, so I can eat your food”
It is, however, my first cooking venture out of my own kitchen. Also I’m still very much a novice in cooking for others.
It’s also something I know…I feel…will take a load of stress off of me that I have carried for days. It won’t be as theraputic as a massage likely, but it will be good for me.